


certain

by onthighsbelongtotaemin



Category: SHINee
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8823784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onthighsbelongtotaemin/pseuds/onthighsbelongtotaemin
Summary: wherein minho wakes up with a stranger he remembers





	

minho wakes up flustered to the sound of a large clatter & a room that is suddenly far too bright.  he fights it, tries to get back to sleep, but the sun is overheating the room & piercing his eyelids.  as he slowly starts squinting, bracing his eyes for the onslaught of light, he opens his eyes onto a bedroom he doesn’t immediately recognize.  the walls are nearly bare where they should be covered with shelves & there’s only one window where there should be two.

he’s not at home.

he’s not alone.

he rolls over slowly, away from the body that has just pressed itself against his back, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration because he doesn’t remember going home with anyone & he’s not hungover.  and he doesn’t think they’ve had sex.  the person beside him has their back to him & he can’t tell from this angle.  he can’t just reach over & shake them awake & it would feel too weird to sneak around to the other side just to get a look at their face.

and if the blind rolling up didn’t wake them he’s not sure he could.

that’s what it was, he realizes, the blind popped out of its latch & flew open, letting in all the sunlight currently assaulting his vision. that, at least, should be attended to. he slips out of the bed, relieved & confused to find himself in flannel pants that definitely fit (so he has pajamas here…) as he walks over & re-attaches the blind.

“thanks,” comes a murmured voice from the bed, one familiar but that he can’t quite place.

“welcome.”  he waits for a follow-up, any other clue to let him know whose home he’s in.  they seem to have fallen back asleep, however, & he’s left with three options: get back in bed & wait for them to wake up, try to sneak a peek at their face from the other side of the bed, or walk around the…apartment?  house? & try to gather clues that way. now that he’s up he doesn’t really want to get back in bed, not without knowing who else is in it.  so he does creep around the bed, tries to catch a peek of the other person.  but they’ve burrowed their face into their pillow & their hair spills over their ear leaving him with no markers.  

wander around a stranger’s house it is then.

except it’s not.  the moment he steps into the hall he’s struck with the feeling that he’s been here before, that he belongs here.  which is impossible because he knows what his home looks like & this isn’t it.  but it is.  there’s his bookcase & a piggybank he’s had since high school. there’s a picture of him with jinki & taemin on his friend’s third anniversary.  honestly, he thinks, looking at the photograph, who goes to an amusement park for an anniversary?  looking around there are pieces of himself throughout the…apartment, not house. this apartment is his.  but he doesn’t recognize it.

but he recognizes the face standing next to him in the next picture, a photograph he doesn’t remember having been taken.  it’s him & jinki & taemin again, this time at their house with a child he doesn’t know in taemin’s arms & jonghyun’s hands at minho’s waist.

that.  is. impossible.  

“what’s the last thing you remember?”  he whips his head around to see jonghyun standing there, his hair limp with sleep & pants that he clearly struggled into because they’re sitting crooked & backward.  minho closes his eyes.  of course, jonghyun always slept naked.

“how did…?”

“what year is it?”, he asks, a little too casually as he leans against the wall, his arms crossed across his bare chest.

minho frowns at the question.

“2016.”

jonghyun whispers a broken “fuck” as he pushes off the wall & falls to a squat on the floor, his head in his hands.  his shoulders shake for a few seconds before he runs his fingers through his hair & looks back up.

“it’s 2021.  do you know who i am?”

“fuck jonghyun, of course i know who you are.”

“you forget sometimes”, he says with a sad smile.  “when you see me sometimes you’re confused, sometimes you’re angry.”

minho looks back at the picture of him with jonghyun & their friends.  their friends.

“i’m not angry, just confused.”

“you were in a fight.  some bastard hit you over the head and sometimes-”  

“no, not that.  why would you do this?”

“do what?”

“put up with me?”

“because i love you.”  minho nods because he doesn’t understand.  because the last memory he has of jonghyun that is his own & not an impression from a photograph is of a fight that was so vitriolic that there’s not enough forgiveness in the world to absolve him of the words he said.  and whoever now lives in his apartment has a hole covered in plasterboard where his fist broke through the wall.  he was certain they’d never speak again.

“do i love you?”  it’s a cruel question perhaps.  he has a right to know.

“most days.  maybe not today.”

“no, i…i think i do today.”  he’s still looking at the photograph & thinking.  they look happy, he looks happy.  one arm is around jinki’s shoulder but the other hand is linked with the fingers jonghyun has at his waist.  he stares at those fingers.  abruptly he turns & stretches out a hand, smiling at jonghyun in encouragement when the other hesitates.  he pulls him up & begins to lean down to kiss him, stopping halfway there because he thinks this is right but he’s not completely sure.  

jonghyun’s lips feel right, their bodies move in familiarity & minho clings to the present because the past is still unclear & this, this moment, this man, feels right.

nothing is certain.


End file.
